Happy Mother's Day-Maybe!

 If, like me, you are a mother; I hope you enjoyed this special day. I know I did. And, today, many families also celebrated with brunches, family dinners, or backyard barbeques. Others applauded their generations and assembled extended family gatherings of great-grandparents and new infants. There is, of course, no one way to commemorate this day. However, I frown on those who would put mothers on a pedestal.

People see pedestal dwellers as aloof and apart, which is just what a mother should not be. Pedestals are, in my way of thinking, antithetical to where motherhood should stand. They are also isolating, inhibiting, and perhaps even used to control. Motherhood is nothing, if not a state of activity, as one engages with little people who have many needs and require care, comfort, joy, and love to grow well.

I see a dichotomy of words and actions. Society tells us to admire our mothers, yet places many impediments in their pathways through motherhood. Where does the line in our societal structure fall between the admiration of mothers and defining the rights allowed to women? The United States has seen particular assaults on the rights of bodily autonomy only for women, but not the men who live here. According to a report published by the Dallas Morning News in January, Texas had an estimated 26,000 rape-related pregnancies since the state enacted its abortion bans. Rape is a crime that often goes unreported or uncharged due to the lack of prompt follow-up or prosecution by authorities. So, society dictates that a woman must carry to term the result of an assault which is usually terrifying. Although some states allow abortion exceptions for rape, again, proving the crime is difficult. One can only wonder what the mother of a child conceived through rape or incest must feel as she is forced to raise this child. Does society truly believe that this is in the best interests of all involved?

Although many people were aghast at the trials of Harvey Weinstein (one now reversed on appeal) and the issues seen in the “Me Too” movement, others dismissed them cavalierly. Some discuss the double standards society applies. I find this juxtaposition interesting, as it speaks volumes about power and intimidation. The defense attorneys in the election interference trial taking place in New York with our former president as the defendant chose to ‘slut shame’ Stormy Daniels, who worked in the pornographic film industry. Just wondering, who keeps this billion-dollar industry afloat? I doubt mothers are its target audience.

Heather Cox Richardson wrote this week about the origins of Mother's Day: (Remarks are truncated)

“From her home in Boston, Julia Ward Howe was a key figure in the American Woman Suffrage Association. She was an enormously talented writer who in the early years of the Civil War had penned “The Battle Hymn of the Republic,” a hymn whose lyrics made it a point to note that Christ was “born of woman.”

But out of the war also came a new sense of empowerment. Women had bought bonds, paid taxes, raised money for the war effort, managed farms, harvested fields, worked in war industries, reared children, and nursed soldiers. When the war ended, they had every expectation that they would continue to be considered valuable participants in national affairs, and had every intention of continuing to take part in them. 

Howe was drawn to women’s rights because the laws of her time meant that her children belonged to her abusive husband. If she broke free of him, she would lose any right to see her children, a fact he threw at her whenever she threatened to leave him. She was not at first a radical in the mold of reformer Elizabeth Cady Stanton, who believed that women had a human right to equality with men. Rather, she believed strongly that women, as mothers, had a special role to perform in the world. She threw herself into the struggle for women’s suffrage, understanding that in order to create a more just and peaceful society, women must take up their rightful place as equal participants in American politics.

Richardson concludes her remarks with this paragraph.

While we celebrate the modern version of Mother’s Day on May 12, in this momentous year of 2024 it’s worth remembering the original Mothers’ Day and Julia Ward Howe’s conviction that women must have the same rights as men, and that they must make their voices heard.”

So, how are we doing as a society with this challenge?

It is already known that women frequently make less than men who do the same jobs, because as some bosses say: ‘they will leave to have children and cannot be counted on to be in the workplace.’

But is this true? Both men and women now take leave to care for infants; some couples choose to take leave in tandem to be with their new infants. Today, it appears most families have two working parents, and this has become the new norm.

We already know that poor women have less access to daycare, since they may work shift jobs when centers are not open or do not have the means to pay for it. Society tells women they must work to qualify for certain benefits, but again, rarely provides the stability for them to work and care for their children. Single mothers who must appear at their jobs in person every day often struggle to cope with changing schedules in the schools when teachers have in-service days and classrooms are closed. Middle-class moms who can work from home do better with this issue, but it remains a problem. Middle-class parents can send their children to summer camps. Options are fewer for single mothers during the summers when schools are closed. Some school systems are already trying to provide weekend meals for children since the best meals they receive are found in free lunch programs at school. Many have added summer lunch programs to meet the needs of students who are not getting adequate nutrition at home. Food insecurity is a known issue, but frequently it is just ignored. We say we value mothers but rarely support them; the same goes for children who cannot provide for themselves.

So, society says it values motherhood but repeatedly places obstacles in the paths of mothers and their families. Many of the southern states that have now denied abortion care for their residents are also among the states that decreased benefits under Medicaid. So, when a mother gives birth, she finds there are fewer healthcare benefits or options for her and her new child. If the state demands a woman give birth when she might have made a different choice if she had bodily autonomy, does the state then bear some responsibility to assist in the care of this child? Many women who look to terminate a pregnancy do so because they already have children and believe they cannot afford to raise another.

According to a report by the United Way, in 2022 over nine million children were estimated to be in poverty in the United States. A total of 37.9 million people were in poverty. In 2022, the highest child poverty rates were in the following states: New Mexico -18.2%, Mississippi -17.8%, Louisiana -15.9%, and Kentucky - 15.8%. Racial disparities also account for many of these numbers as the child poverty rate was 25.9% for Native American children, 19.5% for Hispanic children,  17.8% for Black children, 11.2% for white children, and 9.9% for Asian children.

During COVID, the Expanded Child Tax Credit (CTC) was widely applied and moved millions of children out of poverty with monthly payments to families.

According to a 2022 report by the Urban Wire produced by the Urban Institute:

“Research shows monthly CTC payments made since July provided substantial relief to families during the pandemic. The first monthly CTC payments reduced food hardship by 25 percent among households with low incomes with children, and other research shows the share of families who had trouble meeting their weekly expenses declined after the first CTC payment was distributed. Survey data also demonstrate that the CTC reduces financial stress among families with children. Reviving the monthly expanded CTC could help combat the economic hardship created by the current COVID-19 surge.

Our research has shown that if the child tax credit were permanently expanded:

• child poverty would be reduced by more than 40 percent in a typical year, unaffected by other federal aid or pandemic job loss;
• child poverty would fall by at least 30 percent in every state and would fall by at least 50 percent in 11 states;
• children of all demographic groups would be better off as well; and
• child poverty for Black children would fall by more than 50 percent.”

However, despite efforts by many in Congress, these credits were not renewed, despite the overwhelming evidence noted above about the effectiveness of these programs. As reported by the Nineteenth, the current bill, which extends only to 2025, pairs these credits with corporate tax benefits. Some Republicans believe the bill would discourage recipients from working. The tax relief is calculated to be around 525 billion dollars while the child credit is valued at 180 billion. Doesn’t seem fair to me. The renewal passed in the House but is stalled in the Senate.

Once again, society is showing us what it truly values.

Til next week-Peace!